Bhai’s dadagiri and this How-Could-He-Name-Rape debate

By Koral Dasgupta

Koral Dasgupta

Koral Dasgupta

With due apologies may I ask how many of you use words like chu**ya, son of a bi**h, Ran*i, Behenc**d, etc? Have you ever wondered what they mean?

Each of the cuss words used frequently and colloquially are extreme insults to women.

People use these words generously in moments of anger, frustration, or as a joke; even openly on social media. To a few I requested not to use them. They assured, that uttering these profanities offer the required kick in moments of frustration and it has nothing to do with their literal meanings.

The same people I find today are extremely offended by Salman Khan’s rape statement! And they are using the same words for the actor.

Isn’t the media reaching out to Nirbhaya’s parents over the Salman Khan comment more insensitive than the original ‪rape‬‬ comment? How could they sensationalise this so hopelessly? The same media reports celebrity wardrobe malfunctions, which is no less than virtual rape.

On 21st night, I was watching Newshour when Arnab Goswami threw this hands and voice in all directions to prove how aghast he is. Furiously he asked, ‘where is Bollywood tonight? Why are the Farhan Akhtar’s or Sonam Kapoor’s, who raised their voices during Nirbhaya case, silent today?’

In typical Arnabisq decibels he outshouted Nafisa Ali with his characteristic rude, which must be a welcome rage on an issue like Salman-Khan-Uttered-Rape.

It however prompts me to think, in their own way Akhtar and Kapoor are trying to voice their support towards women with initiatives like MARD (Men Against Rape and Discrimination) or women oriented films respectively.

Has Arnab done anything significant on this front other than outraging and animating himself on Indian television every evening? History reminds me that Goswami had once hosted Frankly Speaking with Salman Khan in 2012. This happened much after Khan’s hit and run case (2002).

I urge everyone to go on YouTube and watch the video (posted below) and witness Goswami’s fanboyish smiles and mushy questions. He never asked anything about the Hit And Run case then.

When Khan was summoned by the court (2015), Goswami again put up a nerve-jolting entertainment show where he invited everybody for a rugged debate and didn’t let anyone speak!

I hence wonder, what right this journalist has in commenting that Bollywood refrains from speaking out because the person concerned is Salman Khan? How does he evaluate himself as any one different from them?

Goswami also compared Salman Khan’s statement with Mulayam Singh Yadav’s infamous quote, “Boys will be boys”!

In the past two actor-turned-politicians from Bengal (Deb Adhikari and Tapash Pal) has said gruelling things trivializing rape and they got away with it. I don’t want to reiterate their words. I have no idea how these statements can be compared with Salman Khan’s statement. Yadav, Pal and Adhikary had glorified the rapists.

Salman Khan didn’t commit an act of rape; he was talking about his fatigue. Yes, it was unnecessary, silly, foolish. But the uprising against him is no less nonsensical.

Sometime back someone commented on my social media post and called the media a prostitute. A lady journalist came forward and reminded that “prostitutes” is not an abuse; perhaps their clients are! The person apologised immediately. That’s how deep-rooted and insensitive our approach towards women is.

Half the times people don’t realise what they are saying. In society women are molested, literally and virtually, in thousand different ways. Yet, a carelessly used word like “rape” triggers outrage and everybody feels personally molested.

Even if Salman Khan apologizes today, would the general outlook of society towards women change? Why then is this desperate attempt to pick up a soft target to satisfy ego and wash our hands off the guilt? Stand against Salman Khan for all the wrong this that he does, or did. How fair is it to blame him for being the same as everyone else?

Ask yourself – “I felt like a raped woman” and “You are a chu***a” – both said in moments of frustration with the speaker disclaiming later that he didn’t really mean it in the literal sense… which one is more offensive or insulting?

A journalist friend just said this morning, “We all have a Salman Khan in us.”

True that.

Perhaps that’s why it is so important for us to identify a villain and bail ourselves out.

Consider helping yourselves first before calling Salman Khan names.

3 replies »

  1. Brilliant. I’m glad you chose to be objective and rational in your thinking rather than take the easy way out of joining a large chorus. My sister and I have been discussing the exact same things as well.


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