Bollywood Nostalgia

How Shah Rukh Khan murdered Shah Rukh Khan

By Koral Dasgupta

Ek tarfa pyaar ki taaqat hi kuch aur hoti hai… Auron ke rishton ki tarah yeh do logon mein nahi batti…!

Koral Dasgupta

Koral Dasgupta

In the midst of watching a ravishing Aishwarya romancing the vulnerable Kapoor boy on-screen, the dialogue left many of us in a trance. Of course it was mouthed by the man who makes our (read my) heart go weak as a compulsive habit of more than two decades now.

Once out of the theatre, my husband chewed the leftover pop corns and shrugged. “He comes and spills the most touching dialogue of the film. What a hijack!”

There’s no reason why I should disagree to that. But I turned when my husband tried to pronounce those sentences in a ShahRukhsque way.

Ek tarfa pyaar ki taaqat hi kuch aur hoti hai…. Auron ke rishton ki tarah yeh do logon mein nahi batti…!

Hey! Hang on right there. Why didn’t Tahir Khan love Saba ‘beintehaan’ when he was married to her? I mean, what stopped him? Why did he have to divorce her so that he could realise that “ek tarfa pyar ki taaqat?”

What the hell?

This was when logic hit hard.

When it comes to SRK, I am completely blinded. So, I explained to myself that there is some nerve-wrecking philosophy here, which is beyond my duffer brain to comprehend. I checked with some of my intelligent friends, and they laughed, only to prove that they were no less duffer than I am.

Now the question is, why are our icons making us feel like a duffer?

Back home, I immediately made myself a cup of strong coffee so that I was alert enough not to be drooling over Shah Rukh Khan, at least for the time being. The dark and the bitter taste of the coffee cursed me as I pulled my laptop to investigate this.


Accused : Karan Johar and others
Victim : Fan  (Naam toh suna hoga?)
WitnessSocial Media
Crusader : Shah Rukh Khan

shah-rukh-khan-25-01

“My Lord, once upon a time in Mumbai…”

“Objection! The public prosecutor is unnecessarily bringing in Ekta Kapoor and Ajay Devgan into her argument, which is distracting the court.”

“Ajay Devgan isn’t a distraction in this context really, but, errr (blink, blink), SUSTAINED!”

“My Lord, Karan Johar once played a significant role in building that image of Shah Rukh Khan. The image that made girls fall in love with miscellaneous lovers called Raj and Rahul.”

“And post that break-up rates went up, because the only criteria to fall in love was that the name of the bugger has to be…”

“Patience, Mr. Defence Lawyer. OVER-RULLED!”

“Thanks, My Lord. The point is, the same Karan Johar today is misusing Mr. Shah Rukh Khan to portray the context of burning love!”

(Commotion in the audience; judge forgets to call, ‘Order, Order’)

“… The concept of love, My Lord, has changed. Because, the audience has changed too. But the accused is hopelessly trying to hold on to the ‘90’s school of romance. Repeatedly he reminds us, through all his films, that there was a Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and a Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham and a Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge in the past. The delightful songs that have started to bore – thanks to the endless re-presentations and medleys, through youthful dialogues reduced into over-juiced pumpkin, through tantalising scenes which have been adulterated by every post-SRK actor by now, film makers are desperately telling us that every passing project is as good as the crusader that he was in the 1990’s and 2000’s!”

“My Lord, I fail to understand the Public Prosecutor’s problem with that. Just see how she is panting for breath after presenting her meaningless, long argument. That’s more drama than any average Karan Johar film.”

“Your Honour, my problem is, do we really need these desperate reminders? Why aren’t these film makers using Shah Rukh Khan to create fresh memories? Great stories, unnerving dialogues, touching scenes… where are they? Most of the films today are a blend of few successful films from the past, remixed with a vibrant package of six packs and size zeroes; they are promoted with the confidence of an Oscar nomination!”

“Objection, My Lord. They did bring forth an experimental project called Baar Baar Dekho. It was their attempt to try something different. Not sure the audience quite appreciated it. Does the Public Prosecutor suggest that they must give up on business in their quest to make off-beat films?”

“My Lord, my argument is, film makers like Karan Johar and Shah Rukh Khan aren’t being fair to the actor called Shah Rukh Khan. They are only confusing the times and the audience. Between 1999 and 2016, an entire generation has evolved. The generation that has been Shah Rukh Khan’s darling, today scowls at Ranveer Singh in the same way Bachchaners once glared at Shah Rukh Khan. The film makers hence, have to make up their mind. Who is the audience they are targeting through Khan? The youth of the ‘90’s or the youth of 2016? The fact is, the youth of the ‘90’s doesn’t need a reminder and the youth of 2016 doesn’t relate to him anymore!”

“What!!! Did my learned friend just mention that the youth today doesn’t relate to Shah Rukh Khan’s version of love? Has she lost it?”

“Yes, Mr. Defence Lawyer. You heard it right. Please accept it. A part of the audience not relating to DDLJ or KKHH doesn’t mean it is disrespectful towards these films or Mr. Khan! Just like a casual remark about a legendary singer mouthed by a flamboyant character in a film, who’s more into hip hop than classy music, doesn’t mean the film has insulted the singer. Rather, the apology demanding commandos are insulting him far more by taking it seriously!”

“So what do you suggest? Anyone can say anything and get along in the pretext of freedom of expressions?”

“Calm down, Mr. Defence Lawyer. Order, Order! Proceed Ms. Public Prosecutor.”

“Thanks, Your Honour. All I want to say is, we have to move on. The public has moved on. Now Karan Johar has to move on. And with a heavy heart I must say, Mr. Shah Rukh Khan must also move on. Move on from his past. Move on from himself. Move on from that Raj and Rahul. There are plenty of beautiful love stories. Stories that all and sundry still understands. Stories that audience across generations would love to believe in. Scripts that can stand alone and doesn’t need the support of past references. Adapt those. Invest on finding those soul-bearing narratives rather than investing of promotions and celebrating fake success. With that My Lord, I rest my case!”


BOOM!

jab-tak-shahrukh

A loud Diwali cracker jolted me out of a well-placed slumber with the laptop as my pillow. Such a filthy dream to waste sleep on. I must admit though, that I missed the dressing down the Defence Lawyer would have awarded to the Public Prosecutor, had the dream continued.

Anyway, a fan should stay within limits and not try to get too smart. God knows what prompted this kind of a mindless screenplay within my subconscious.

Quickly, I logged into Facebook and wrote a status :

“Ek tarfa pyaar ki taaqat hi kuch aur hoti hai…. Auron ke rishton ki tarah yeh do logon mein nahi batti…!”

One scene, one dialogue, and SRK steals the show! #AeDilHainMushkil.

The post has got 20k likes till now, and still counting!

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