If Salman Khan… you Khan too?

Aman Bhonsle

The only thing that was a real ‘kick’ in this tripe of a movie was the fact that it gets over eventually. So, what else about this opportunistic cash grab venture gave me a ‘kick’ (not below the belt thankfully)? Well, my sensibilities were ‘kicking and screaming’ and begging to abandon my soul (if I even have one for enduring this movie).

‘Kick’ is a jarring sparring bungle-about the world of logic and it induced coughs from deep inside my conscience for having put up with it without throwing something at the screen.
Never has a movie this misogynistic, devoid of character development and replete with stereotypes and narrative shortcuts been made and to think people are more worried about how much money it makes is truly saddening since the only association that the audience has with money vis-a-vis a movie is the cash we impart with in good faith while entering the movie hall.

Now while I enjoy an over-the-top and at times farcical take on heroism a la – Singham and Rajinikanth’s movies, what is troubling about Kick is just how low it panders to the base desires. 
The movie represents everything wrong with Indian movies and even a general societal mindset at what constitutes funny and heroic which deeply unsettles me.
Here are a 10 things one can (NOT) learn after seeing this awful film.
salman kick 1
1) It is apparently okay to stalk a woman and force your ‘alleged’ charms on her. She will eventually believe that she is in love with you just because you have followed her long enough for her to notice how handsome or good you are at breaking the bones of some people in public. They probably deserved it anyway.
2) Machismo solves everything. When in doubt, whistle, swing, dance and break glass bottles on people’s heads. They will eventually fall down or fall prey to your charisma or agenda.
3) Apparently, a woman’s only job in a Salman Khan movie is to look dolled up, wear a short dress or a saree when required by the script and want to seek him out for marriage or sexually or for a song despite the fact that he is a jobless sociopath with commitment issues who risks his life and throws all caution to the wind… all the time… everywhere. 
4) It is apparently okay to intimidate your father-in-law and insult him in his own house as long as your respect your mom. 
5) It is apparently okay to strip a policeman naked of his uniform and pride just because it makes for irreverent humour. 
6) It is apparently okay to get drunk with your father, become a public nuisance and have a young woman pick up after you and reach you home in the wee hours of the night till safety. She will want to eventually marry you to fix you because she likes how you look and dance.  
7) It’s okay to be a thief as long as it’s for the kids. It’s also okay to harm innocent people who come in your way while you’re breaking and entering, damaging public property and manipulating the people who care for you.
8) It is apparently okay for a woman to live under the same roof with an ex-boyfriend when her prospective husband is visiting her at her home. Oh and she’s also a psychiatrist! She’s smart like that.
9) It is okay to do anything outside the law as long as it’s inside the film. Do your best or your worst as long as it gives you an adrenaline rush / or as long as you are Salman Khan. 
10) It is okay to hurt a woman’s feelings by walking out of her life because your ‘kicks’ meant more to you and then you can waltz right back into her life as you please because she is waiting to dance, strip, sing and love you back no matter how much of a dick you really are. Attractive women wait around for men to manipulate & charm them so they can settle down with him and have children.
kick-salmanOne may argue that such movies are not to be meant taken seriously or literally but I implore you to think on the behalf of all those people with unhappy lives or who blindly hero worship people like Salman Khan.  People with impoverished backgrounds, minimum wage workers, rickshaw wallas, taxi wallas, construction workers or the front benchers as some like to refer to them to.
These are the people with big stars in their eyes who dream of a better life where they will not be at the end of a stick being poked at them by their financial situation or when they are fudged over by the government. These are the same people who stand in queues outside celebrities houses just to get a peek of their demi-gods through a fence. They worry about the rising price of train tickets, potatoes, onions, then try and make a bit of a livelihood while jumping through the hoops of ‘majboori’ and ‘Kya karega saabs’! 
These are the same people who don’t wash their hands after shaking hands with a celebrity because they can’t believe they got so lucky. They are also the same people who stand in the afternoon heat just so they can see a celebrity at a shoot in real life. It doesn’t get more exciting than a Salman Khan movie for these very people and these are the messages that they are subliminally getting exposed to.
After all, not everyone has the ability to process such movies at face value. I am worried about the following terribly skewed subliminal messages that this movie sends to an audience that has started thriving on the junk food equivalent of film-making and worrying more about how many crores it has made (none of which strangely is going to them for watching this movie).
India is the only country where people get excited when somebody they don’t know gets richer. 200 ‘karod ka business!’ Wow! None of which comes to me. 
This is also a country where temples are visited for transactional purposes. Dear God, accept these sweets and lose change and change my fortunes without me having to do any work towards it. 
Sounds like a good deal!

Editor’s note: If you want to see what some Salman Khan fans are upto after watching Kick, then you must check this video.

After a heavy backlash in the comments, the video creator suddenly claimed that he has used special effects to create the video. The idea of the stunt came from Salman’s heavily promoted bicycle stunt that was a part of the promo.

Content Copyright: The responsibility and the sole ownership of the content is of the author who has contributed the content to this blog as a friendly gesture. Please don’t copy-paste matter from this blog.To contact the writer, please visit his author page HERE.

4 replies »

  1. i noticed this blogs owner and all his friends always write up on salman, bias opinions and thats it. Any movie is Entertainment because it takes you to a different world = escapism.


  2. I have never understood how you are going to figure out what section of movie will influence people. If movie influence worked more than fashion and style, we might have many corrupt ministers dead by now following RDB. RDB obviously has more impact than all Salman movies combined.

    There is no harm in making movies that earn money. Movies are not the flag bearers for good societal behaviour. Its your choice. Watch it or dont watch it. Its not going to make any difference to anybody.


  3. Amazing review, and basically reflects exactly what I feel like saying every time I walk out of the theatre after having watched a similar kind of baseless movie. Indian cinema needs to change, and directors need to start thinking beyond the 100-200 crore club. The money used to make films (if you can call them films) like Kick, Rowdy Rathore, Humshakals etc,. can be used for a better cause, than just spending on getting heroines to expose and heroes to blow up cars and break things.


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